Holy week; Kiss me, Kill me

How many of us have wanted to do what Peter did. To meet out some old fashioned justice on those who had come to arrest Jesus. The unfairness of it all. The best man who ever lived, seized and dragged before some kangaroo court before being unjustly condemned to death in the most disgraceful way possible.

I think we are supposed to feel the sting of it. Because the injustice of it all, the unfairness of an innocent man dying for  a crime he is innocent of, really reflects on the injustice of our getting away with it. That too is unfair. It defies justice on the most basic level. And the first insult of the many Jesus would receive over the next few hours, that awful betrayal with an act of honour, the kiss of Judas.

And here at the start of the hours of darkness, Jesus asks Judas, before he even reaches him, 'are you really betraying me with a kiss? (paraphrase)

Why is the question so poignant, so utterly loaded?

Judas knows Jesus. Judas knows him intimately. Only hours, maybe only minutes ago, Jesus had honoured Judas by dipping the bread with him, a gesture of respect and friendship and, yes, even love. Judas has been present at all the great miracles. from the feeding of the 5000 to the raising of Lazarus. He has witnessed the insightful teaching. He has seen the tender compassion Jesus has on the marginalised. He has laughed at Jesus' jokes', had his feet washed by him. He was part of the closest circle of disciples, even trusted with the money. And he still didn't get it.

We feel sorry for Judas, so often, because he seemed to be predestined to fail. It was a dirty job but it had to be done. But I don't think we can ever negate the role of Judas' choice in the betrayal. He had more opportunity than anyone (apart from the rest of the12) to see Jesus as he truly was.

For whatever reason though, Judas had his own agenda. To reject Christ so utterly, having known him for who he is (betrayal or no) is really to ask for damnation. Judas knew, somehow, and tragically rejected him. We are told that money played a part, but the dark place from which humanity shuns the Lord of life, played a larger part and Judas succumbed to it. Jesus chillingly states that it would be better for him if he were never born.

And the tragedy is that Judas couldn't even be honest in his darkest moment, when his cover was blown. He was still lying to himself and to Jesus.

Jesus Identifies his betrayer with an act of honour and acceptance, as he shares the bread and bestows grace and love on him even then.

And Judas condemns Jesus to disgrace with an act of honour and friendship. And he seals his fate as he does so.

The lesson of Judas is that familiarity with Jesus does not necessarily imply closeness. It is possible to know Jesus and never really know him. It is possible to see the best of what he does and never really have our eyes opened. where are we right now? Are our eyes open? Are we betraying Jesus in small ways with public acts of love that mask our indifference or worse, animosity.

It is a sobering lesson. May we never be so close to Jesus and not see him for who he really is. May we only see the love in his eyes and may we never miss the point.