Freedom In Christ #4

So, I had to hit it eventually. The wall. And man, did it knock the wind out of me.

When I was at Bible college there was a kind of a practical joke campaign of war being carried out (faction against faction) in the boys house, where I and the majority of the male single students resided. One particular trick I remember being played was to sellotape up a guys door with newspaper. On seeing it the unsuspecting victim could nearly never resist crashing through that 'oh so inviting' door of rippable paper. What they never guessed was that before taping up the doorway some heavy item of furniture would be placed blocking the door and they would charge full throttle into it, at the height of their destructive glee. Bible students can be cruel. What can I say?

This wall was like that. To look at; a wall of paper, inviting me to smash through it, as I ran on triumphantly towards victory. In reality, it was masking something way more solid and unmovable. This wall is going to have to be deconstructed brick by brick. The wall has a name  and it's name is 'Worldview'.

I need to rewind a little.

Before the session started, looking at the title 'The world's view of truth', I thought I was in for an easy ride. We have dealt with 'Where did I come from?' and 'who am I now?' (Identity in Christ and security in God) and then we moved on to the even more challenging session on the nature of faith 'Choosing to believe the truth'.

To be honest, I found the last session  so challenging (and it is intimately connected to this session, had I but known it) that I thought we were due some let up. And world views? It's a no-brainer, right?

I know there will have been people on the course to who this was a relatively new concept, but I grew up being told about the absolute truths vs relative truths and the dangers of pluralism. And the session proved to introduce nothing particularly new to say on the subject. Nothing I wouldn't have already endorsed 100%

• The world is the system or culture we grew up and live in.
• Satan is the ruler of this world (John 12:31) and works through it.
• Tactic 1 is to appeal to us, by promising to meet our deep needs, through the channels of lust of flesh and eyes and the pride of life (1 John 2:15-17)
• Tactic 2 is to paint a complete but false picture of reality. (these are represented in the book by 3 main worldviews)
• Tactic 3 to get us  Mix 'n' match. Adding Christianity to a pre-existing 'core' world view, rather than adopting a 'true biblical worldview.

This 3 tiered system for keeping us from truth is excessively effective. Where we may, through Christ, get through the first 2, many will never get beyond the third tier.

I will need to explain 2 of the world views which have had the most impact on me in order to proceed with this particular post.

The first is The Western, or 'Modern' world view;

• Divides reality into natural' and 'supernatural'  but focuses only on the natural.
• Sees spiritual things as irrelevant to daily life.
• Reality is defined by what we can see, touch and measure,

The second is The Postmodern world view;

• There is no such thing as objective truth.
• Everyone has their own version of 'truth'.
• Each persons 'truth' is as valid as everyone else's
• If you disagree with my 'truth' or disapprove of my actions you are rejecting me.

I'm sorry if this feels like I am attempting to teach the course but it's necessary for you to know this before I proceed.

I can easily identify both of these worldviews as being prevalent in the culture in which I grew up and live in. I was even aware that they rub off on me and, from time to time, that becomes evident. What stayed with me though, after the session, was this concept of the third tactic. 'Mix n match'.

If you asked me if I believe the bible to be true, I would almost certainly say yes (though I have my off days). The word of god? Yes. The absolute truth? Sure thing. But this is a standard response. The party line. The party I joined freely, the party I love, but none the less, the party line. There are core beliefs which affect me still. And they bubble beneath the surface, undermining much of that which I subscribe to publicly.

At the end of the session we were asked to join in with a prayer that committed us to getting rid of the core beliefs the world has fed us and committing ourselves to how the bible says reality really is.

At the time of praying, despite a slight unease, I felt relatively relaxed about the concept. After all we have been renewing our minds for a few weeks now. But even in the car, on the way home, my mind was starting to unpick my feelings. The unease was growing exponentially.

What I have to be honest with you about now is hard to say. Hard but necessary. I gloss over an awful lot of unbelief. I know, anecdotally that we all have doubt. I doubt that I am unusual in that. But what was really getting to me was the immensity of committing myself to a totally biblical worldview. It scares the pants off of me.

For one thing, I kind of fear becoming a bible quoting robot. A Christian clone, if you will. 'Freedom in Christ' has a certain way of looking at the bible and theology  and it felt to me like I was being asked to hand over my individuality and conform, not only to scripture but to a certain way of seeing scripture. It is the way I have chosen to see scripture too, but it is a choice. My choice. And I have always gone with the belief system because it generally makes sense in its entirety, even if certain things seem difficult to adhere too. I suppose what I am saying is, that although I outwardly subscribe, I have inwardly, at some deeper level, reserved the right to disagree or to 'wait and see' on issues that are difficult.

 You see, I have a coping strategy.  I think it comes from a post modern world view, to some extent. It is that where I cannot fully commit, I attribute the disparity to relative truth. It is in a way, my parachute. My get out clause.

As was implied in some of the material which is not in the handbook (but was taught last Sunday) Sometimes I have to admit that 'I have decided it is true for me'. To be clear, this in no way means that I don't love and serve Jesus in all sincerity. I absolutely believe in God. But this 100% commitment to the truth of the bible has always been a bit of a stretch for me.

Looking back historically, people I admire have often fallen on different sides of debates on theology and biblical interpretation. If these great people cant agree, I ask myself, how am I ever to get it right or to understand? So I take my unbelief, and shelve it, with, if I am honest, little intention or hope of ever solving what I think on these issues.

This compartmentalisation can fall into modern and post modern worldviews. They allow me to duck out of any issue I find challenging instead of diligently studying and praying and asking the Spirit to guide me into all truth.

I also, at times, have fears that it wont hold up to thorough examination in light of science. I worry that I wont be able to do it justice if I attempt to defend its truths to non believers. I am so far from being scientific. I have chosen, at this deeper subconscious level, to focus on my spiritual experience and relationship. It is easy to justify as love and relationship are at the heart of the gospel, after all.

I have talked to others about my faith, sure....if it came up. And if controversial areas arise, I duck out of them, deflecting the questions. Why should I endorse a point of view that I cannot even understand fully myself. You see, it goes deep. And implications for living in a way that endorses this 'totally biblical world view' are immense, as I am sure you will appreciate.

But it wasn't always like this.

When I was first 'saved' I was an ardent evangelist. A real bible-basher. I spent so much time trying to argue and convince people into the kingdom. And if I wasn't trying then I was feeling rather guilty about not trying. I made a nuisance of myself. My belief in the bible as the word of God seemed unshakable. My commitment to biblical truth unwavering. But it became exhausting. Exhausting and often disappointing. I got tired of being tired. I got disappointed with all the disappointment. And I reverted gradually to this altogether safer world view.

It wasn't deliberate but it happened.

In the light of session 3 I understand now why I was shaken so much by the words which told me that my actions are evidence of what I really already believe. And I ask myself what about hell? If I truly believed in hell would I not spend every waking moment trying to save souls from it.

So many issues. This blog may be on the long side but I could spend days writing about this stuff.

How do I know how to interpret the bible?

And, as I have prayed this through God has spoken to me through scripture again. I have to thank my good friend, Martin Thompson, who steered me gently back to the scriptures themselves and prescribed a course of reading by the way of godly commentary on the subject of biblical authority. It was an absolutely invaluable nudge. But in all the encouraging words he spoke to me as I laid my heart out to him on how difficult I was finding this (I couldn't pray for days) the thing that stood out and caused me to seek out the scriptures was a phrase from Hebrews 4.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (v12)

Just the mention of it renewed hope. It didn't flow instantly but it reminded me that there was somewhere to turn.  It was actually the last scripture I looked at but it ties in so well. So here was my warning that the word of God (which includes scripture) good judge and expose my heart. Which he was about to do. Penetrating and dividing, remember that. The next lines say;

 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (v13)

But I haven't looked at this yet. When I do, I will see also that this passage is directly linked to the bit  (v14-v16) which speaks about Jesus, our high priest, who is able to sympathise with our weakness, and the invitation to boldly approach the throne of grace, with confidence. The very verses that have been central to my growth, through this course.

But the first thing to come to my mind, when I prayed through this, was a verse from James, also chapter 4;

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (v8)

I have to confess just the latter part jumped out because it contained the word 'double-minded'. Which is what I was now recognising myself to be.

The session had referred to Elijah's battle with the Prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. How long will you waver between two opinions? If Baal be God then Serve him but if the LORD be god, then serve him. I think after seeing what Elijah did I, had I been present, would have been convinced of who was the real Boss.

As I read this I was enticed by the invitation that we 'come near to God' but then after a little dwelling on it I saw something which may be obvious but that I had never noticed before. What does he prescribe for the double minded? In my own partially logical brain I would have thought that the double minded needed to have a rather good think about it and decide which was the best route to go down. But James prescribes a rather different cure. For the problem of the undecided mind he prescribes an undivided heart. Purify your heart you double minded.

So what the word tells me is that this isn't an intellectual problem about scriptural interpretation or scientific evidence. This is about a heart that needs purifying in its allegiances and motives.

To purify is get rid of foreign bodies, to turn up the heat and cause those things which are not pure to burn off. To separate it from what defiles it. If it were two substances fused together into one, it would take all the components that were pure and reunite them in one place, leaving the rest for the slag heap.

because my boys were using my laptop this morning I was studying these scriptures using my concordance in the back of my bible. I happened to notice that James uses double minded in another place (1v8)and so, before moving on, I would have a quick look at that reference too.

 

 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

The verse refers to someone who wont believe in the wisdom they are given (which could easily apply to my situation) and the results speak for themselves. But when I read the little footnote that came with my study bible on this verse I was rather taken aback.

"1:8 A double-minded man is a person drawn in two opposite directions. His allegiance is divided and because of his lack of sincerity, he vacillates between belief and disbelief, sometimes thinking God will help him and at other times giving up all hope in him. Such a person is unstable in all his ways. Not only in his prayer life. The lack of consistency in his exercise of faith betrays his general character."


It is around about here that I, feeling very uncomfortable indeed, get extremely grateful for grace and forgiveness. Oh the mercy I obtain at that throne of grace which I can boldly approach in confidence because of Jesus intervention. It is so sweet to me. But it is also his mercy that he lets me see myself, at times, for what I am and that includes the incisive way in which the commentator took the word of God, just there, and applied it to my heart to judge its thoughts and attitudes as it penetrated and divided my defence. I felt laid bare when I read that. But comforted too, because I am seeing the sense in all this. I don't need to be an academic, I need to chose Gods truth and have faith and confidence in its unfolding. All truth is God's truth. God is truth, Jesus is The truth and the Spirit leads us into all truth. I simply need to commit myself to that and diligently work it out from there.

I found myself praying 'Lord give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name'. And I knew that was from a psalm, so I looked it up.  I looked at in in three different versions. The NIV says 'give me an undivided heart' which is the path that led me here. The NLT says 'Grant me purity of heart' which links up completely with James 4:8 (purify your hearts you double minded). 'It is slightly different in the NKJV, but I love it even more. It says everything I need to hear.

Teach me Your way, O Lord;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.
For great is Your mercy toward me,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

 

 

 

 

Okay. So now you know. I haven't come close to dotting every 'i', but in principle and in heart, I can fully commit myself to this journey, by Gods grace. Because I am trusting him and I trust his word.