The Greatest

"Not everybody can be famous. But everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service." - Martin Luther King.


Dr King was referring here, of course, to Jesus' words from the gospels (Matthew 23), "the greatest among you will be your servant". Dr King was indeed made famous, the prominent spokesperson for African American civil rights campaigners in the sixties, as the man of the hour in the height of the struggle against racial segregation. I am afraid, to my shame, that my knowledge of him is limited to the kind of trivia you may pick up from the back of a beer mat or a children's "book of facts". I know enough to know he was a great man of god. I also know enough to know he was a flawed and human character. I also know he spoke with great, great bravery and courage and I know the power of god was laying heavily upon his words. I cannot tell you if he sought prominence and fame for its own merit, I cant tell you if he was given over to the vice of vanity and pride, if he loved to be "greeted with respect in the market place" or if he loved to have the place of honour at banquets. But I can say that he was indeed great despite being famous. He was great for the very reason he gives here, he served his people, and in helping to bring dignity and respect to the disempowered and discriminated against black communities of  America he served that whole nation as he gave towards all communities not only having the joy of respect but the joy and peace of respecting their fellow men. The problem was not solved, or anywhere near it, but it was vastly improved because of his service. Martin Luther King Jr gave himself fully to the cause. He knew the risk and in the face of it, like Christ himself, he counted himself nothing. As he said, eerily, in his final speech

 Like anybody I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do Gods will....And so I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man! Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!!

I just want to do Gods will. Isn't that amazing. At 6:01 pm the next day he was shot dead on the second floor balcony of his motel.

It struck me as I read this quote this morning, posted by a friend on facebook, that I am not sure if I have ever really believed what Jesus said, to be true. I don't mean that I dispute the truth of the statement but rather that I doubt my belief in it, my commitment to it. Jesus, in the same passage, challenges both Rabi's and the disciples together when he says;

But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers.  And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah.
 

 If I am honest, laughable as it may be to those of you who know me in person, I crave recognition. It is a weakness and a temptation that I am very aware of. In the same way I am wary around those who smoke certain illegal substances, for fear of falling (somehow) back into that horrific pattern that ruled my life, I am also wary around this subject. The truth is, however, in the circles of church culture I have moved in, I see a few individuals who respect and uphold this principle but a great deal more who pay lip service to it at best. I intend no criticism here that does not land squarely on my own lap too.

There is a celebrity culture in the church just as much as in the world. People speak of famous preachers in reverential tones, they hold "Pastors" somewhat in awe. I am by no means saying these people are not worthy of respect. But the principle Jesus operates within clearly shows us that the true place of honor given to them in terms of Gods kingdom, is in the spirit of service with which they preach, or pastor or pray or prophecy. Paul says, in his "parts of the body" metaphor in 1st Corinthians that we are to treat the parts of the body that are shameful with greater honor. I have a feeling that those who are going to graduate with honor on the great day will be those who did what they did, whatever they did, with their whole heart for God, in service to him and his people. All other motives and "honours" will burn in the flames.

What would my life look like if I sought to serve others before I sought to serve my own reputation. What would it look like If I sought to honor Jesus before I looked to gain honor through my association with him. Would there even be a blog?  I don't think fear of having mixed motives should stop us serving him. We are covered in his grace, after all, but I think we need to, as much as it depends on us, examine our motives and remember that the heart can be "deceitful above all things". That's why we need his word to judge it by, that's why we need the insight of the Holy spirit, in all we do. We should bring him our lives and our supposed areas of service and say "Lord if there is any offencive way in me, put your finger on it now, unite my heart that I might praise you in a worthy manner".

Jesus after he had washed the feet of the disciples told them to do likewise. He said "No servant is greater than his master". Guess what? The master has just done the most scummy job in the house! What then should we be doing? I know I am guilty of, much of the time, wanting the praise of people over the praise of God but the praise of people is fickle and unsatisfying. Mankind looks on the outward appearance. Sometimes that outward appearance is the the false impression we try to create of our inner life. The Lord looks on the heart. God will not be mocked. We reap what we sow . If we sow to our sinful significance craving nature we will reap from that nature a type of spiritual death (I mean a "dead" fruitless area in our lives) but if we sow to the serving spirit we will reap from the spirit life and health and peace. The praise my heart really longs for is that final phrase "Well done good and faithful servant". I want to be able to say with Martin Luther king, "I'm not fearing any man" and "I just want to do Gods will".

                                           

Settled grace

I have mixed feelings about snow. It can be the most beautiful thing. It can also make my life as a cleaner of train stations really, really hard. The first element that really affects me is the way it hits driving conditions. I apologise if you are from somewhere that has real snow but I am about to have a good old British moan about a couple of inches, as is our want. When I worked at Gatwick airport snow made the pace of work change, with long periods of delays followed by frenzied periods of activity. In this job it simply makes an easy job into a nightmare. I have about 4-5 hours of driving in my 8 hour day. A journey that usually takes me an hour and forty minutes yesterday took me 4 hours. That's what snow does to us in this country.

So when I first hit the phenomenon that is snow, whilst doing the job I am currently in, I was not happy about how long everything was taking. I was not happy about the potential danger or the wheel spinning as I was trying to drive away from a level crossing but the hill kept sucking me back down towards it. bu there was a fringe benefit to the snow, a cherry on the icing, so to speak.

One of my jobs is to pick litter up at each of the stations I go to. This was, at the time, the bulk of my work. And so when I discovered that all the cigarette butts and beer cans and sweet wrappers and glass bottles were buried beneath a healthy half foot of snow I rejoiced. I rejoiced because I was instantly making time back. Granted not more time than I had lost with the driving, but still a great deal of it. You see the snow had covered over all the rubbish.

And when I stood back and just looked at it, it made the grotty stations I was servicing at the time rather beautiful. Snow can transform almost anything into a thing of wonder and/or beauty. It emphasises certain qualities not seen before, it softens harsh edges, it even makes loud noises softer. It lies over an entire landscape and changes your relationship to it. You even have to walk differently, tread carefully. Each brand new step in fresh snow is so delicious. The wonder of that crisp sound.

It strikes me that snow is a picture of Gods grace. You knew it was coming, right? I hate to disappoint. I will let you do the donkey work, matching up the different elements of those metaphors I have shared with you. I just want to concentrate on the broad sweep of it.

Gods grace is in forgiving our sin. We are saved by Jesus sacrifice for us, once and for all. This is grace enough. Its an amazing unmerited favour, that he should pardon us from every sin we have committed, every careless word, every friend we stabbed in the back, every addictive substance we succumbed to, every jealous thought; all dealt with. All paid for. In full, by Jesus. And this forgiving grace falls over the landscape of our sin and transforms it. it covers all the rubbish, it lends its own pristine crisp cleanness to that which was soiled and dirty.

But snow melts. The joy I had in discovering that at least I didn't have to do all that litter picking soon turned to annoyance and frustration as when it thawed after a few weeks and I found that all that litter had not really gone away. I had a mammoth task ahead of me. This is where we have to depart from the husk of the metaphor, for it cannot hold the seed of Grace for long. Grace is far superior.

When I woke up, the day after my wonderful conversion, the day after having received a spiritual sense of cleanness and joy that was beyond anything I have ever experienced, I woke up with the same stuff on my mind as the day before. Mainly, how to get high. But Gods grace had not melted. The sin that was covered by gods forgiveness was still covered. Gods grace would cover my sin not only the day after my conversion but for the whole 6 months it took me to get free from my lifestyle. God grace did not melt then. It covered my sin right through the next three years of ministry and missions and training, it covered my mistakes, it covered the stupid things I said, the people I hurt, the people I scared. It covered me when I made many mistakes whilst courting, It covered me as I slowly fell out of going to church again, it covered me as I came back. It covered me as I began to raise my children, as I started to learn though trial and error what being a parent was all about, It covered me when my mother died of cancer and I was so grief stricken that I masked much anger with God. It covered me when my marriage fell apart. It covers me now. Right now where I stand. it covers me for my future, it covers me forever. My sin is not counted against me. God said;

"Come, let us settle the matter. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow"~ Isaiah 1:18

I love this. The matter is settled. The snow of Gods grace has fallen on the landscape of my heart and soul. The matter is settled, the snow is settled, grace is settled and our life is beautified and transformed. When Father God looks on a child of his grace he no longer sees ugliness and sin he sees what he has done through Jesus. That was the work of almighty God and it can never be undone.

Day by day

Well, it's a new year. Again. I avoided writing during the crimbo limbo period, frankly because I was out of  steam, all blogged out after 25 days of continuous blogging under the broad heading of advent.  Blogged out, that is, until I discovered the idea of writing a new blog on the subject of faith and (single) fatherhood. (See present father/absent kids). I think, by the time new year came I had had my fill of reflecting. Reflecting had become the writing equivalent of leftover turkey.

 

But reflect I must and, now enough time has passed for my soul to recover from the rich Christmas fare, I am ready to start again. I suppose the wisdom of not putting faith in any new years resolutions is sound. The idea that will power alone will help me to achieve all that I have failed to achieve in previous years simply because I "really mean it this time" is a nonsense. One definition of stupidity is to keep on doing what you have always done.....and expect a different result.

 

There is a place for will power. Of course there is. How can adversity produce character in us if its not through perseverance of choice in the light of many shortfallings and failings. Isn't the purpose of Gods grace to get our wills aligned with his. All the platitudes about grace will not hold fast unless we hold the end of grace within sight. The grace of God has come that we may be enabled to walk with him and to become more like him. God does not want to take us over or sweep us along despite ourselves. To me grace is the hand that is offered to help us walk away from the mess we've made, That hand is extended and never retracted. This to me is grace. That he calls forth the response from deep within my soul, deep calling to deep, come away with me, be still, be mine. I feel at times like I have resolutely refused to take that hand. I have thanked him for the offer. I have marvelled at the offer of it, I have told others about how amazing it is....but have I really taken it? Aren't we told "worship the lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength"? Yes, indeed, my will is involved in my sanctification. But it alone will not keep me.

 

I remember seeing a far-side cartoon where a boy is sweating and straining  as he pushes with all his might against a door marked "pull". The plaque on the door reads "School for the gifted". I think that this is, in  some way, what I am like trying to get close to God with my efforts. The force I exert actually makes sure the door stays shut, the efforts I make are often counter productive in that I try to be good enough. If I am honest, really honest, I have to say that it is not God I am trying to impress. It is myself. I dont need to impress the God who made me. He sings with delight over me. I need to accept his love and live in his presence with simple heartfelt gratitude. If I stopped pushing sometime, I would be likely to realise that the door is already unlocked and simply needs a different approach. Isn't that what repentance is. Stop. Think. Change your approach.

 

This year is a year to put Jesus at the centre. I am tired of doing it my way. I want to have a Martha spirit for the whole of 2013. To sit at the feet of Jesus and chose the better part.

 

To see Thee more clearly

 

The challenge in '13 is to cleanse our vision. Huxley (Aldous) wrote of cleansing the doors of perception. His viewpoint was that in order to see truth we needed to break through these doors of perception to see the truth that lay on the other side. He advocated a variety of approaches to achieve this "cleansing" including spiritual and chemical means. We know that Jesus himself is the door to the truth (and is the truth that lays beyond it). Jesus said "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". It is about how we see him. Do we see him? Really see him? He asks Peter Who do people say I am? Peter replies "Some say John the baptist, some say Elijah, others one of the prophets!" And then Jesus says

 

"And who do you say I am?"

 

We know that Peters revelation and declaration that Jesus was the Messiah, the son of the living God, was one of the high points of his discipleship but the question echoes down 2000 years of space and time to you and I. Who do I say he is. What do I see when I look on Gods son? That question defines us, both in this life and the next.

 

this year I want to get all the clutter that surrounds Jesus and look right at him, know the truth and be set free.

 

Love thee more dearly

In the same way that seeing is said to be believing, seeing Jesus clearly is to be in love with him. I know a lot of people have hang ups about how lovey dovey we are about Jesus but it is not that kind of love. Its a love like no other. We need to be like babies. The psalmist talks about being satisfied in God like a baby at the breast is satisfied. I have stilled my soul, like a child at suck at its mothers breast.

I remember so clearly the moment my son was born, the agony of the silence before he cried. That silence was the scariest thing in the world...and then, at last, he coughed up the fluid he had swallowed and with vomit and a  splutter that sound erupted into the delivery room. The first thing they did with him was to take his blood smeared little body and slap him down on his mothers naked abdomen. Skin on skin they call it. It serves a bonding purpose. Bonding is so important.

I remember when I first came to the Lord. It was a lot like that. I was a mess, bloodied and sticky and traumatised. But I felt so close to God. That bonding time I had as a new christian has set me up for life. In a sense it was a foretaste of what was to come and in a sense it was the best it was ever going to be. That rawness of love and the skin close nearness of his presence let me know I was his. And he feed me, and I grew, and I was satisfied in him.

We need to get back to this childlike dependence again. Not to be immature Christians, not to fed on milk, but to recognise the source of our life, to love the touch and taste and smell of his presence, to realise that this pattern of love and closeness is to echo throughout our life with him. To kindle the bond of love which gives us the relationship that will in turn give us the ability to stand, walk, run and fly. Put that love at the centre of your life in 2013, cherish it above all other loves.


To follow thee more nearly

In a sense this is the hardest of all but it flows from the first two. To see and love him will lead us to follow him. To follow more nearly, to never be so far behind we cannot hear what he says, to never be so far in front we cannot see where he is going. We must keep in step, follow closely. Isn't this how Jesus says that he lived. I only do what I see the father doing, he said. It means shedding possessions and travelling light and it means giving up our own plans where necessary. The hardest thing Jesus had to do, I believe, was in Gethsemane when he decided to see it through, obedient to death, following Gods lead.


So my prayer is that day by day (as the song says) we will put Jesus more and more at the centre of our lives in 2013. Have a blessed year. staying close to Jesus and bearing fruit in all seasons.