Shameful Women

By trade I am a cleaner.  I don't believe I am the first person whose career trajectory went from theological student to cleaner,  but it wasn't what I was expecting,  I must admit.
 

And on one hand I am fine with cleaning. I feel little disgrace,  though it is hardly a prestigious job.  But on the other hand it is occasionally a source of embarrassment to me,  depending on the company I am in.
 

Tell certain people that you are a cleaner, (people who may have shown a prior interest in you), and there is that look. They almost regret asking.
 

But any embarrassment I feel dwindles in comparison to the awkwardness I often encounter over a certain cleaning issue.
 

(By the way,  today is a temporary departure from Romans, with a rather unconventional start, but bear with me,  a spiritual aspect is coming)
 

My ex wife of 12 yrs was very matter of fact about the issue that is euphemistically referred to as 'feminine hygiene'. She spoke openly about menstruation and felt no embarrassment about getting me to purchase her sanitary towels and tampons, even when we were just dating. She was simply not squeamish.  And later on I was exposed to all the joys of a 'moon cup'. If you don't know what that is, Google with caution.
 

Let's just say that I have been exposed in detail to every aspect of menstruation in particularly graphic technicolour. She cured me of any squeamishness I had around the subject.
 

Now I know that as you have been reading some of you have been getting rather uncomfortable (men and women, I suspect) and if that's you,  well done for making it this far.  The light is at the end of the tunnel. But we have a little way to go yet.
 

So one aspect of my cleaning involves the sanitary bins in the ladies toilets. It is not my job to empty them,  but at times they are left too long (or something such as a coffee cup gets shoved into its rather small hatch)  and they start to overflow.  So I have to deal with that.

Not the most pleasant job,  but certainly not the worst thing I have to deal with. And living with my ex proved to be a good training ground.
 

And occasionally,  especially in the case of the coffee cups,  I have aired my frustration on social media or to female colleagues and friends. Because,  primarily,  someone's ignorance has caused me a problem.
 

But my complaint is never about having to deal with it, but rather that individuals lack of consideration.
 

And now,  finally,  we get to the point. I have been shocked time and time again by the response I get from women.
 

It's a true generalisation to say that most of them apologise (Or speak in apologetic tones) for my having to see that, or to deal with it, you know,  as a man.
 

It's like there is a corporate sense of shame on the whole gender.
 

If a female cleaner has to clean a loo seat that a man has carelessly peed on and relates that tale to a man,  he will likely feel no shame (generalising)  for his sex.  He may feel a little if he is personally responsible for that mess, but would rarely accept blame.
 

Now female consideration, for me,  is the better response than male arrogance,  but strangely there is something seemingly healthier in a man's refusal to take responsibility,  at least,  certainly healthier for him.
 

He will not take blame or shame for something that has nothing to do with him.
 

But in my experience women tend to take it on themselves.
 

There should be no shame around this issue. It is a perfectly natural function,  and an amazing one at that, which brings life to the whole human race.  It is, in a sense,  a beautiful thing,  even if it has difficult implications for women.
 

Why, oh why,  you may ask,  is he prattling on about menstruation in a devotional blog, that was supposed to be about the theology of sin?
 

Why indeed.
 

I have a good friend,  who happens to be female, who asked me for an 'arrow' (blog) on shame.

I have been looking for an opportunity to express my thoughts on 'feminine hygiene' and the state of shame that seems to unnecessarily attach itself to that subject, for quite a while now. But it is not one of those things that you just 'bring up' very often, for the exact reason I am highlighting.
 

And this morning whilst cleaning it occurred to me that God was drawing my attention to it for the purposes of this blog.
 

Shame is something that affects all humanity, but it seems to play a larger role in the female experience.  A much larger one than it should.
 

I don't really have solutions to the problem of shame,  but I have a few pictures of how it works., and of God's approach to it. And the majority of those pictures contain  Jesus.
 

In the garden,  when Adam and Eve fell,  the immediate consequence of their sin was a sense of shame.
 

They hid because of their nakedness.

They moved from love and approval to fear and shame.

Fear stops you loving.  Shame stops you receiving love.

But love can stop your fear.

 

 

It is vital to note that the shame is a byproduct of the sin. It is not something that God puts on them.
 

Shaming is not Gods style.
 

The only times I know of that God speaks of shame,  it is about it's removal.

And historically,  since the man compounded the woman's sense of shame by blaming her, the woman has bourne the blame for the fall.

Although Paul refers to Eve's sin,  he makes it clear that it is in Adam than we are in sin.
 

Now let's leap forward to our redeemer and his life.

Women bearing shame came to Jesus often,  or were cast across his path.

It is in Jesus that we see best God's compassion towards the shamed.
 

Take the woman caught in adultery.  In the very act.

How shaming is that?
 

And it's not the man that is dragged out into the street, is it?

They are both culpable,  are they not?
 

To be dragged naked (or half naked) out into the street, disorientated and humiliated? How must that have been?  How shaming! And Jesus,  without ever condoning her sin, defends and honours her in the most profound way.  Firstly he uses the sin of the accusers to level the playing field.

Who among you is without sin? Let him cast the first stone.
 

And now the woman's shame turns into everyone feeling a sense of shame.
And he does not condemn her.
 

Neither do I condemn you,  he says.  The only one who righteously could have.

Then he addresses the root of her shame

Go and leave your life of sin.
 

Where shame is 'deserved'. This (the above) is the pattern.
 

You are not a freak.  You are human.  We sin.  Now be transformed in yourself without shame.
 

Then there is the woman with the issue of blood. A woman who certainly did not 'deserve' her shame.  For many years the flow of blood did not cease.  She was ritually and culturally seen as a disgrace.  She lived every day with a sense of shame.  It was so huge for her that she spent all her money on doctors,  in an attempt to rid herself of this condition.
 

These days, I hope, she would be viewed with compassion but then she was seen as unclean. If she even touched someone they became contaminated. She was risking her life even by being in this crowd.
 

But something in Jesus gives her hope.  She knows,  if she can only just touch him,  she will be well,  and she scorns the shame,  bravely pushing through the crowd of hangers on,  and manages to reach out and touch him.
 

The moment she does, she is healed.
 

And Jesus,  noticing that power has gone out from him, does not let her slip quietly back into the crowd.  He calls her our and honours her for her faith,  to stand 'clean' for the first time, to look on the crowd and feel no disgrace.
 

Jesus emboldens the shameful. He gives hope.  He heals and honours.
 

And then there was the woman who anointed him at Bethany with an expensive perfume.
She has such a flagrant disregard for the shame she would incur because of her great love for him.

The scent we are told,  would have been the equivalent of a year's wages. My annual wage is about £15, 000 being a cleaner,  the average annual salary,  I'm told,  is around £25, 000.  In either case,  that is some expensive perfume. That's a sizable donation to Oxfam.  A lot of people could be helped with that. There is a shame, in a way,  of the waste of it. The disciples even say so.
 

This extravagant love has disregarded shame.
 

And Jesus says that because of it, she will be honoured wherever the gospel is preached,  as I am doing now.
 

Jesus bestows honour on the shamed.
 

There is no place for shame.
 

Jesus takes our shame away.
 

A while ago a dear brother,  who was, in my opinion,  by far and large the most flamboyant and least self conscious worshipper in our congregation,  (possibly that I have ever met) revealed that God had spoken to him about his sense of shame and shown him that Jesus had taken all his shame, and that,  from now on he was casting shame aside,  to worship without reservation.
 

And he was good to his word.
 

But I was thinking,  'You? You feel a sense of shame?! '

Because I saw him as completely uninhibited.
 

But that was not how he regarded himself.

And whatever came of that season for my brother,  it taught me something.
 

Shame has many,  many levels.
 

It goes so deep.
 

While you are ashamed, you are not free.

And for me,  what happened at the cross was the divine exchange of shame.

Jesus took our shame.
 

And we are told,  in Hebrews;

Let us go to him, outside the camp,  bearing his disgrace.

It seems only fair to me that if he bore our shame, we should bear his.

He says,  if anyone is ashamed of me or my words,  I will be ashamed of them before my Father.

But to bear his disgrace in truth,  is an honour and a privilege.

HIS shame is no shame.
 

He scorned the shame and humiliation of the cross.
 

He shamed sin itself,  making a public spectacle of it,  triumphing over it by the cross.  His 'shame' became his honour and victory.

The Christian has no place for shame,  but to give it to Jesus and to take his on ourselves instead.  His shame is easier to bear.  His burden is light.

Sisters (and brothers)  I hope we can learn from these women and,  more importantly,  from Jesus,  who honours us so preciously,
 

Amen.