The parable of two marriages

Jesus took his disiple aside and told him this story;

'The Kingdom of heaven is like this. One man fell in love with a woman and was captivated by her beauty. She was equally besotted with him and they began a passionate relationship filled with romantic dates and weekend get aways. They found they had everything in common and could talk until the sun rose and it was as though no time had passed at all. The few points on which they differed only served as an intrigue. They concluded themselves soul-mates and, after some months, they decided they could no longer stand being apart. Being upstanding young people they decided to tie the knot. They were married and embarked on their new and exciting life together.

They found after some time that the initial passion of their first months together was not sustainable and soon enough the dates and getaways were replaced by TV dinners and trips to the garden centre. Eventually the heart to heart talks into the early hours were replaced, at times, by long and unsolvable disputes. What had happened to the woman he fell in love with? Where had she gone?, he would ask himself.

 Sometimes they would not talk at all, which was far worse than the fights. But all through the hard years the man never forgot the sweetness of those first months. He never felt the need to leave the marriage because as long as they were together it seemed to him that there was a hope of returning to those days. No matter how he may have felt like he was bashing his head against a brick wall he never gave up on the idea of getting back to what they'd had and so he finished his days with a woman he did not grow with, a woman he had idealised and locked into youthful fantasy of fulfilment. He was with her till the end but, although there remained a begrudging affection, he stopped encountering her as she grew and changed. The object of his love was always unattainable and so his passion made him miserable.

There was a second man who was looking for a wife to bring meaning and love into his life and being of a certain age and financially solvent he set about looking for Miss Right. He joined dating websites through which he met and dated many women. He enjoyed lots dates, and some of the women seemed to enjoy them too, but somehow nothing ever really came of them. There was no spark. Eventually, after a long time searching, he met a woman that he got on well with. There was not a lot of chemistry but 'perhaps chemistry is over rated' he told himself. 'Why should I not?, we seem a good match and we are both looking for partners to bring meaning into our lives!' Later his business like proposal was accepted and in due time they were married.

Once he had made the commitment he began to relax and, with the pressure of finding chemistry now out of the way, he began to discover a deep passion for his new wife. They had gotten together for good reasons, it had almost been an intellectual decision but he found that he was so grateful to have her in his life and every day began to notice new ways in which she enriched him and he sought to do the same for her with a grateful heart. He had never expected to find true love like this. As time went on their bond only deepened and he found that he was living in the hope of an ever deepening love, their cooler early months all but forgotten. They too lasted the duration and the second man found that because he lived in the moment and looked for ways to express his love that the future was always full of promise and the present illuminated by love.'

Jesus told this parable to his disciple Matthew in order that he might teach him to understand that it is not healthy to live out their relationship in the past and that he might be grateful for what he has and might allow his love to grow and not to be stilted by a hankering for past glories that stop him experiencing present realities of grace and love.